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I’ve previously written about dating in Japan and interviewed a few of my female fellow bloggers about dating Japanese men.After publishing it, a lot of men asked questions about dating Japanese women.In my experience, most Japanese men would label the challenges caused by having a NJ wife ‘mendokusai’ (*a pain in the rear).” “In the end, Japanese women are just women as well. Usually there’s no initiative to approach men, like for example in Germany. Starting with a completely different meaning of ‘love’ in Japan, followed by the concept of ‘honne’ (本音: real feelings) and “tatemae” (建前: what she’ll tell you) to name just a few. Be prepared for a lot of disappointment.” “A lot of Japanese dudes are thinking that gaijin women are just too strong for them and that these women wouldn’t fit into the typical role of a woman in a typical Japanese marriage.And if a Japanese woman approaches you as a gaijin, just run as fast as you can! Well, I’ll tell you foreign ladies a secret: A lot of disappointed male gaijin are just waiting for a chance with you! He says about himself that he’s a rather introverted person who wouldn’t just walk up to a Japanese woman, throwing the following at her: “Konnichiwa, nice stockings, wanna go out?I found it hard to make anything more than superficial connections or move past friendship.I joined in the TV show at the last minute not expecting much.Still, by the end of the event I found someone I could communicate easily with despite my non-fluent Japanese and her lack of English.” “There are always differences in expectation and cultural differences can lead to awkwardness, yet I’ve found that clear communication can help to navigate the most difficult situations.
The society dictates what is acceptable, tolerable, attractive and even what will bring a man the prestige among his peers he might desire, and in most cases the women they choose either fulfill these needs or are expected to conform to them somehow.
After seeing my profile, several women came to meet me.
It definitely made things easier knowing they were interested in me, yet there were distractions as well.
In August 2013 Ben participated in the popular Japanese TV show Motemote 99 where he met a wonderful Japanese women. In Japan, women and men tend to socialize separately, so unless you find someone at work (which has its own issues), you’re limited in the ways you might meet a potential date.
One good option is joining a community club or activity, though then there’s no telling if they’ll fit your age range.